July 1
“Summer break. Where you drink triple, see double, and act single.”
- Unknown

July 2
"Always remember you're unique just like everyone else."
- Anonymous

July 3

1

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

- David "Dave" Barry (July 3rd, 1947), a Pulitzer Prize-winning American author and columnist

2
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
-Dave Barry

3
"When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer."
 -Dave Barry

4
 "The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'"
-Dave Barry, referring to the actor who played the Lone Ranger on radio

July 4
"Beer is a wholesome liquor…it abounds with nourishment"
- Dr. Benjamin Rush (January 4th, 1746 to  April 19th 1813), a Founding Father of the USA.
bonus
"Everything is created from moment to moment, always new. Like fireworks, this universe is a celebration and you are the spectator contemplating the eternal Fourth of July of your absolute splendor."
- Francis Lucille (1944 in France), a spiritual teacher and author.

July 5
"One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy."
- George Costanza (Looking Impatient and Annoyed) on the TV show seinfeld (originally aired on NBC from July 5th 1989, to May 14th 1998).

July 6

1
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."
- George Walker Bush (born July 6, 1946, New Haven, Conn., U.S.) was the 43rd President of the United States, serving from 2001 to 2009
2
"I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Walker Bush

July 7
"The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."
- Actual sign In a Yugoslavian hotel

July 8
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants"
Alan Whitney Brown (July 8th, 1952), an Emmy Award-winning writer and comedian. 

July 9
"Who does not love beer, wine, women and song remains a fool his whole life long."
- Carl Worner

July 10
"Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living."
- Jean Kerr (July 10th 1922 to January 5th 2003), an American author.

July 11
"Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living!"
- Amanda Bradley

July 12
"How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?"
- Unknown

July 13
"Oh, lager beer! It makes good cheer, And proves the poor man's worth; It cools the body through and through, and regulates the health."
- Anonymous

July 14
"If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty liter?"
- Unknown

July 15
"Open your bowels at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it."
- Unknown

July 16
“Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back”
- Unknown

July 17
“When the sun gets hot and the moon gets hazy, good girls go bad, and it gets crazy!”
- Unknown

July 18

1
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity  to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
- Hunter S. Thompson  (July 18th 1937 – February 20th 2005) was an American journalist and author.

2

"When the going gets weird, The weird turn pro."
- Hunter S. Thompson

July 19
"I've just noticed that one of my testicles is bigger than the other two.  Is this unusual?"
- Unknown

July 20
"Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it."
- Unknown

July 21

1
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
- Ernest Hemingway (July 21st, 1899 - July 2nd, 1961), an American author and journalist.
2
"It was a natural as eating and to me as necessary, and I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking beer"
- Ernest Hemingway
3
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
-Ernest Hemingway

July 22
"I snuck a bunch of booze into work today, using my stomach."
- Unknown

July 23
"I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it."
- Raymond Chandler (July 23rd 1888 – March 26th 1959), an American novelist and screenwriter.

July 24
"Life isn’t always a fairytale, that’s why you should enjoy the moments when it feels like it is."
- Unknown

July 25
"Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods."
- Bruce Carlton

July 26
"Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink."
- Bumper sticker

July 27
"To live in hearts we leave behind, Is not to die."
- Thomas Campbell (July 27th 1777 – June 15th 1844), a Scottish poet.

July 28
 "Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into."
- Don Marquis (July 28th 1878 to June 16th 1937),  an American humorist.

July 29
“If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?” –
- Thomas James "Tom" Snyder (May 12th, 1936 – July 29th, 2007), an American television personality.

July 30
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey!"
- Barbara Hoffman

July 31
"Take life with a grain of salt, a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila."
- Unknown