February 1

"May your heart be light and happy,
May your smile be big and wide,
And may your pockets always have
a coin or two inside!"

February 2

- from Groundhog Day (the Movie)
Phil Connors speach Take 1
"Once a year, the eyes of the nation turn to this tiny Pennsylvania hamlet...
to watch a master at work.
The master?
Punxsutawney Phil...the world's most famous weatherman,
the groundhog...who, as legend has it, can predict the coming of an early spring.
The question we have to ask ourselves today is, "Does Phil feel lucky?"
Then it's the same old schtick.
The guy with the big stick raps on the door.
They pull the little rat out.  They talk to him.
The rat talks back and then they tell us what's gonna happen.
Isn't he cute?               
You like your guys with prominent upper teeth?
"This February  at  :   and    seconds...
Punxsutawney Phil, the seer of seers...
prognosticator of prognosticators...
emerged reluctantly,
but alertly...
in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania...
and stated in Groundhogese...
"I definitely see a shadow. "
Sorry, folks.  Six more weeks of winter."

Phil Connors speach take 2
"It's Groundhog Day again.
That must mean we're at Gobbler's Knob
waiting for the forecast...from the world's most famous groundhog weatherman...
Punxsutawney Phil...
who's just about to tell us how much more winter we can expect."

Phil Connors speach take 3
"This is pitiful.
A thousand people freezing their butts off, waiting to worship a rat.
What a hype. Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town.
They used to pull the hog out and eat it!
You're hypocrites, all of you!
You got a problem with what I'm saying?
Untie your tongue, and you come out here and talk.
Am I upsetting you, Princess?
You want a prediction about the weather,
you're asking the wrong Phil.
I'll give you a winter prediction.
It's gonna be cold...
it's gonna be gray...
and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life."

Phil Connors speach take 4
"Once again, the eyes of the nation have turned here to this...
tiny village in western Pennsylvania.
There is no way that this winter...
is ever going to end...
as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow.
I don't see any other way out.
He has to be stopped.
I have to stop him."

Phil Connors speach take 5
"When Chekhov saw the long winter...
he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope.
Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life.
But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney...
and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts...
I couldn't imagine a better fate... than a long and lustrous winter.
From Punxsutawney,
it's Phil Connors.
So long."

-Alternative Toast-

"Tagalog Mabuhay" (Long life)
In Celebration of Phillipines Constitution Day (February 2, 1987)

February 3rd

"May we never have friends who,
like shadows,
follow us in sunshine only to desert us on a cloudy day."

February 4

"Success to the lover,
honor to the brave,
Health to the sick,
and freedom to the slave."

February 5

"May I see you grey and combing your grandchildren’s hair."

February 6

"There are many good reasons for drinking,
And one has just entered my head,
If a man doesn't drink when he's living,
How the hell can he drink when he's dead!"

February 7

"A glass in the hand’s worth two on the shelf,
Tipple it down and refresh yourself!"
- Anonymous

February 8

 "Here's to _, (s)he's true blue,
(S)he's a wanker through & through,
(S)he's a bastard so they say,
Tried to get to heaven but (s)he went the other way.
Drink it down, down, down."

-Variation-

"Here's to you, you're true blue,
A wanker through & through,
You're a bastard so they say,
Tried to get to heaven but you went the other way.
Drink it down, down, down."

February 9

"May your pockets be heavy
and your heart be light,
May good luck pursue you
each morning and night."

February 10

"Drink to the girls and drink to their mothers,
Drink to the fathers and to their brothers;
Toast their dear healths as long as you’re able,
And dream of their charms while under the table."
- Anonymous

February 11

"The Frenchman loves his native wine,
     The German loves his beer.
The Englishman loves his 'alf and 'alf,
     Because it brings good cheer.
The Irishman loves his " whiskey straight,
     Because it gives him dizziness.
The American has no choice at all,
     So he drinks the whole damn business."

February 12

"Though life is now pleasant and sweet to the sense
We'll be damnably mouldy a hundred years hence."

February 13

"May we get what we want,
May we get what we need,
But may we never get what we deserve."
-Cedric

February 14

"May the hinges of friendship never rust,
nor the wings of love lose a feather."
- Edward Bannerman Ramsay (1793– 1872), clergyman of the Scottish Episcopal Church

- Alternative -

"Here's to the dove that flies above
and never sheds a feather
If I can't be with the one I love
I'll be drinkin' this stuff forever"

February 15

"Champagne costs too much,
Whiskey's too rough,
Vodka puts big mouths in gear.
This little refrain
Should help to explain
Why it's better to order a beer!"

February 16

"Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad.
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.

Always remember to forget
The friends that proved untrue.
But never forget to remember
Those that have stuck by you.

Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day."

February 17

"Gentlemen, start your livers!"
-In Celebration of the Dayton 500 (July 2013)
 

February 18

"May our faults
be written on the seashore,
and every good action prove a
wave to wash them out."
 
February 19

"Here's to health, peace and prosperity.
May the flower of love never be nipped by the frost of disappointment,
nor shadow of grief fall among your family and friends."

February 20

"Here's to me in my sober mood,
When I ramble, sit, and think.
Here's to me in my drunken mood,
When I gamble, sin, and drink.
And when my days are over,
And from this world I pass,
I hope they bury me upside down,
So the world can kiss my ass!"

February 21

"I drink to Woman
for each of them who makes a fool out of a man,
there is another who makes a man out of a fool."

February 22

"Here's to our beloved George Washington, the Joshua of America, who commanded the sun and the moon to sand still--and they obeyed."
- Benjamin Franklin - Happy Birthday President Washington!

February 23

"May the devil chase you every day of your life and never catch you." 
-Traditional Irish

-Variation-

"May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, but never catch up."
-Traditional Irish

February 24

"I used to know a clever toast,
But now I cannot think of it,
So fill your glass to anything,
And damn your souls, I’ll drink to it!"

February 25

"The horse and mule live thirty years
And never knows of wines and beers.
The goat and sheep at twenty die
Without a taste of scotch or rye.
The cow drinks water by the ton
And at eighteen is mostly done.
The dog at fifteen cashes in
Without the aid of rum or gin.
The modest, sober, bone-dry hen
Lays eggs for noggs and dies at ten.
But sinful, ginful, rum-soaked men
Survive three-score years and ten.
And some of us...though mighty few
Stay pickled 'til we're ninety-two."

February 26

"Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man laugh,
And laughing long life doth bring."
- Thomas D'Urfey (Tom Durfey) (1653 – February 26, 1723) was an English writer.

February 27

"Here's to your health,
Fitness and tone.
I've drank to your health so many times,
I've ruined my god damned own."

February 28

"Tis better to buy a small bouquet
And give to your friend this very day,
Than a bushel of roses white and red
To lay on his coffin after he's dead."

February 29

"May you never steal, lie or cheat. But if you have to steal, then steal away my sorrows. If you have to lie, then lie with me all the nights of our life. If you have to cheat, then cheat death because I don't want to live a day without you."
- Traditional Irish Toast from the movie "Leap Year"

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