January 1
"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other."
- Anonymous

January 2
"A bar is better than a newspaper for public discussion."
-Jim Parker, on the importance of a healthy pub culture

January 3
"Let us drink for the replenishment of our strength, not for our sorrow"
- Cicero (January 3rd 106 BC to December 7th 43 BC), a Roman philosopher

January 4
"Sometimes too much drink is not enough."
- Unknown

January 5
"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
Frank Layden, (January 05, 1932). a retired American basketball coach and Utah Jazz president, on a former player.

January 6
"I doubt if you can have a truly wild party without liquor."
- Carl Sandburg (January 6th 1878 – July 22nd 1967), an American writer.

January 7
"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol."
- Unknown

January 8
"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time."
- Catherine Zandonella

January 9
“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
- Unknown

January 10
"A mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer."
--Ancient Egyptian Wisdom, 2200 B.C

January 11
Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
-- Anonymous

January 12
1

"Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say, "I'm thirsty, not dirty".
- Joe Lewis, born Joseph Klewan (January 12th 1902 to June 4th 1971), an American comedian and singer.

2

"I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks."
- Joe E. Lewis.

January 13
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
-- Brian O'Rourke

January 14
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
- Humphrey Bogart (December 25th, 1899 – January 14th, 1957) an American actor

January 15
"If love makes the world go around, then whisky makes it go around twice as fast!"
- Compton Mackenzie (1883–1972), a Scottish nationalist.

January 16
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
- Richard Braunstein

January 17
1

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Benjamin Franklin (January 17th 1706 to April 17th 1790), a Founding Fathers of the USA.

2

"There can’t be good living where there is not good drinking.”
-Benjamin Franklin

3

"I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night"
–Benjamin Franklin

January 18
1

"Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I
call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes,
you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!"
- Dave Attell (born January 18, 1965) is an American stand-up comedian

2

"When you're drinking whiskey - you don't know where you're gonna wake up but you know you won't have any pants on"
- Dave Attell

January 19
"People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs."

- Unknown

January 20
"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
- George Burns, born Nathan Birnbaum (January 20th 1896 – March 9th 1996), was an American comedian, actor, and writer.

January 21
"Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of good beer."
- Unknown

January 22
"Why is American beer served cold? So you can distinguish it from urine."
-David Moulton

January 23
"I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to
celebrate a major event such as the fall of communism
or the fact that the refrigerator is still working."
- Dave Barry

January 24
“Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.”
- Frederick the Great (January 24th 1712 to August 17th 1786), was King of Prussia

January 25
"After drinking four Martinis, my husband turns into a disgusting beast. And after the fifth, I pass out altogether."
- Anonymous

January 26
"Law of Drunkenness...You can't fall off the floor."
-Anonymous

January 27
"Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world."
- Kaiser Wilhelm II (German: Friedrich Wilhelm Viktor Albrecht von Preußen (27 January 1859 – 4 June 1941) was the last German Emperor (Kaiser) and King of Prussia, ruling the German Empire and the Kingdom of Prussia from 15 June 1888 to 9 November 1918

January 28

"He was a wise man who invented beer."
-Plato

January 29

1

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
- W. C. Fields born William Claude Dukenfield (January 29, 1880] – December 25, 1946), an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer.

2

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."
- W.C. Fields

3

"Everybody has to believe in something.....I believe I'll have another drink."
- W.C. Fields

4

“What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?”
- W.C. Fields

5

"I never drink water, fish f*ck in it."
- W.C. Fields

6

"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
- W. C. Fields

7

"There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it."
- W. C. Fields

8

"I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy."
- W.C. Fields

9

"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."
- W. C. Fields

January 30
"Why is it that pubs won't serve me if I'm drunk, but McDonalds continue serving the fat people? It's hardly fair."
- Unknown

January 31
"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?"
-Tee Mans