*-- Pregnancy foils man's drug test urine swap attempt --*

CAIRO (UPI) - An Egyptian bus driver who tried to fool a drug test by using his wife's urine ended up being told that he's pregnant. Public Transportation Authority officials said they became suspicious when the male driver's urine test detected a pregnancy and they confronted the man and asked him to verify the sample was his own urine. The man confirmed ownership of the sample, leading officials to respond, "Congratulations, you're pregnant." The driver admitted the urine came from his wife and said he was not aware she was two months pregnant. The Public Transportation Authority said an investigation into the incident is underway. Officials said they will avoid repeat incidents by requiring blood samples for drug tests.


*-- Man robs 4 Subways in 4 days because 'Jared Diet' didn't work --*

HUEYTOWN, Ala. (UPI) - A man who robbed four Subway restaurants in four days with a gun claims he did it because he was mad the "Jared Diet" didn't work for him. Zachary Torrance, 18, was arrested Friday by Hueytown police after someone saw surveillance videos on the Hueytown Police Department's Facebook page and recognized Torrance from having witnessed him purchase a gun holster at a Walmart. Police say he was even wearing the same clothing and shoes as the suspect was the day of the robbery. "He stated in the course of his interview he had tried the 'Jared Diet' and it hadn't worked for him like he thought it should have," Police Chief Chuck Hagler told WJBF. "He was trying to get his money back." He has confessed to the crime and will face sentencing. He is currently being held with a $250,000 bail.

* Fridge-raiding Teletubbie charged with burglary *

BETHLEHEM, Pa. (UPI) - Police in Pennsylvania said a man who dressed as the yellow Teletubbie and broke into a friend's home for leftover Chinese food has been charged with burglary. Bethlehem police said Lehigh University student Terez Owens Jr., 20, was dressed as Laa-Laa, the yellow Teletubbie, when he allegedly broke into a friend's house about 2 a.m. Sunday and filled his "man purse" with leftover Chinese food from the refrigerator. The door to the residence was damaged during the break-in, police said. Officers caught up to Owens, who police said was dressed up for a nearby Halloween party, shortly after the incident, but he was released when the victim initially declined to press charges. "I guess the victims thought about it and the landlord got involved with the damage," Bethlehem police Chief Mark DiLuzio said. Owens has now been charged with burglary, police said. The chief said the case was unusual for the department. "Not that many Teletubbies get arrested," he said. "You can't make it up."

*-- Lawsuit: Man awoke from surgery in pink panties --*

DOVER, Del. (UPI) - A Delaware man's lawsuit alleges he awoke from anesthesia after a colonoscopy procedure to find he had been dressed in a pair of pink panties. The New Castle County Superior Court lawsuit, filed by attorney Gary Nitsche on behalf of Andrew Walls, 32, said Walls was employed by the Delaware Surgery Center in Dover when he underwent a colonoscopy procedure at the facility in 2012. Nitsche said his client was put under anesthesia during the procedure and he awoke after surgery to find someone had dressed him in pink women's underwear. "When the plaintiff initially presented for his colonoscopy he had not been wearing pink women's underwear and at no time did the plaintiff voluntarily, knowingly or intentionally place the pink women's underwear upon himself," the lawsuit states. Jennifer Anderson, director of the Delaware Surgery Center, declined to comment Wednesday. "We just found out about this yesterday afternoon," she told the News Journal. The lawsuit, which also names the Eden Hill Surgical Group of Dover, alleges Walls suffered "severe emotional stress," and Nitsche wrote his client is seeking compensation for mental anguish, lost wages and loss of earning capacity.

*-- Drunk zombie Santa Claus arrested in Minnesota --*

ST. PAUL, Minn. (UPI) - Police in Minnesota arrested a zombie Santa Claus accused of drunkenly wandering into a home and frightening two teenage residents. St. Paul police spokesman Sgt. Paul Paulos said officers responded to a 911 call about 9:45 p.m. Saturday about a drunk man dressed in a Santa suit and zombie makeup wandering into a home. Brock Quinn Johnson, a senior at nearby University of St. Thomas, was cited for trespassing and taken to the police's detoxification center. Police said the student had vomited on himself and fallen asleep on a couch in the home. Police said Johnson did not know where he was when he was woken up by officers. The home is located about six blocks from the university. Homeowner Tom Sullivan said his 14-year-old son and 16-year-old daughter were home at the time of the incident. The boy called 911 and ran for help from neighbors, while the girl locked herself in a bathroom and called her parents to come home. "The police did a nice job of calming them down and explaining the individual meant no harm," Sullivan told the St. Paul Pioneer Press. "Fortunately, it had a happy ending, and no one will ever think of Santa the same way. If you're going to have a break-in, this is the best kind -- someone who means no harm and was looking for a place to sleep." It was not known Monday whether Johnson had been attending his school's homecoming celebrations earlier Saturday evening. There was also a "Zombie Pub Crawl" event Saturday in Minneapolis that set a Guinness World Record, with 15,500 participants dressed in zombie makeup.

*-- Back injury leads to 100 orgasms a day --*

TWO RIVERS, Wis. (UPI) - A Wisconsin man whose back injury led to a condition giving him 100 orgasms a day said the near-constant arousal has ruined his life. Dale Decker, 37, of Two Rivers, said he has suffered a condition known as Persistent Genital Arousal Syndrome since he slipped a disc in his back and discovered he had five orgasms during the drive to the hospital. Decker said he has since experienced up to 100 orgasms per day, and the condition is less pleasant than it sounds. "When you're on your knees at your father's funeral beside his casket, saying goodbye to him -- and then you have nine orgasms right there," he told Barcroft TV. "While your whole family is standing behind you." "It makes you never want to have another orgasm for as long as you live," Decker said. "There's nothing pleasurable about it because even though it might feel physically good -- you're completely disgusted by what's going on." He said doctors have thus far been unable to help him. Dr. Dena Harris, a New York gynecologist who has worked with several women suffering from PGAS, said it sounds like Decker is in serious need of medical attention. "It's clear Dale is really suffering and I'm sure there are some people who will say that this is just in his head," she said. "But it's not -- it's a serious medical condition and I just hope he gets the help he so desperately needs." "Being aroused can be a wonderful thing, but this is not like arousal, it's not even sexual," Harris said. "It's a horrendous spasm and it can be terribly painful. Suicide is always a concern when people suffer from this condition -- they feel like they have no other way to escape it."

*-- Motorized Walmart cart makes for poor getaway car --*

FRUITPORT TOWNSHIP, Mich. (UPI) - An alleged shoplifter in Michigan made an ultra-low-speed getaway on a motorized Walmart shopping cart "because she didn't feel like walking," police said. Police said they were called Sept. 8 when a Walmart customer in Fruitport Township saw Shirley Mason, 46, leave the store's parking lot on a motorized shopping cart, officers located the suspect and an alleged male accomplice about two miles away from the store. Mason, who police said had an outstanding warrant for her arrest stemming from a previous incident at a Walmart store in Roosevelt Park, allegedly had up to $600 worth of stolen goods loaded into the $1,200 motorized cart. The police report said Mason told officers she took the cart "because she didn't feel like walking." Mason was arrested on a charge of organized retail crime in addition to the charge of second-degree retail fraud from the previous incident in Roosevelt Park. She is due in court Sept. 23. The 53-year-old man with Mason was also arrested on an alleged parole violation, police said. His name was not released.

19-year-old Louisiana man is in custody after he allegedly drove his car into the entrance of the Sulphur, La. Wal-Mart store after being fired.

That'll show 'em.
Andre Hofemann was fired and escorted out of the store around 9:30 a.m. Police say he then got into his car, drove to the store's front entrance and crashed through the barricades and doors. Witnesses say Hofemann then exited his vehicle, entered the store and verbally threatened some of the employees. No major injuries were reported.
While this may sound bizarre to you and me, in Louisiana this is not an uncommon way to leave employment.
Ultimately, citizens and employees detained Hofemann until police arrived. Of course, the story wouldn't be complete without a liberal application of stun guns by police. Hofemann was arrested on charges of simple battery of an officer and aggravated criminal damage to property.

*-- British man fakes kidnapping to party without girlfriend --*

BOLTON, England - A man in England was fined for wasting police time after telling his girlfriend he was kidnapped so he could stay at a party with his friends. The unnamed man told his girlfriend he was being held in a house in Bolton, England until he repaid £50 to the fabricated captor. The man's understandably panicked girlfriend called the police to report the fictional crime, launching a very costly manhunt that even led to an unnecessary arrest. "Considerable resources and time then went into finding this man, who it transpires made the entire thing up so he could stay out and party," Detective Inspector Jo Clawson said in a statement. "This is without doubt one of the most foolish and irresponsible incidents I have been involved in ... Significant resources were taken off the front line on a Friday night, which is without exception one of the busiest times of the week." Over a dozen officers executed a neighborhood search, knocking on doors and combing through CCTV footage. The "missing" man was eventually discovered at a party around 1:30 a.m. Saturday morning. Rather an arrest him, the man was fined on the spot and will forever have a criminal record for trying to have night without his girlfriend. "We feel we have wasted enough time and resources on him already and not only has he been fined, this matter will be recorded as a criminal conviction on his record."

*-- South Carolina mean beat by woman for farting in her face --*

MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. (UPI) - A South Carolina woman was arrested Monday for allegedly beating a man in his 60s, after the man drunkenly passed gas in her face. Witnesses told police that 33-year-old Jessica Cerney was asleep on her couch in her Myrtle Beach residence when 64-year-old Darrell McNight entered the home and farted in her face. "[McKnight] came into the house intoxicated and 'passed gas' is [Cerney's] face while she was laying on the couch," according to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun. In the initial report, the names of both parties were omitted. "[Cerney] walked outside to get away from [an] intoxicated [McKnight] but [McKnight] walked out also. The two were arguing over the incident and [McKnight] walked toward [Cerney] cursing in a "threatening manner." [Cerney] stated that she pulled her arms down and when McKnight bent down she struck him in the face approximately three times with a closed fist." McKnight had to be taken to the hospital for treatment to a swollen right eye while Cerney, unless she develops a case of delayed pinkeye, did not suffer any injuries. Both parties were issued citations for fighting. It is unclear if they knew each other prior to the incident. ''


------------------------------------------------------
Jorge Navarro Jr. of Oak Lawn, IL (not too far from my own neighborhood) was in a sticky situation none of us want to be in.

The 23-year-old was pulled over by police around 2:40 a.m. Sunday for a traffic stop. Maybe he couldn't afford the ticket, or maybe he was nervous about something else, like the open alcohol container he had in his vehicle, but for whatever reason he struck upon a daring but moronic plan.

Right in the middle of the traffic stop, court records state that Navarro called 911 and said he heard eight gunshots and that a man had been shot and was lying on the ground a few blocks south of his location.

"Several officers drove to the scene with their emergency lights on," according to court records.

When questioned, Navarro said he had phoned in the fake shooting to get out of the traffic violations.

Despite the distraction, Navarro received tickets for illegal transportation of an open alcohol container, speeding, no seat belt, driving without lights and improper lane usage, plus a felony charge for making the bogus 911 call.


*-- Dog accidentally shoots owner with rifle --*
SHERIDAN, Wyo. (UPI) - Authorities in Wyoming said a man was shot in the arm when his dog stepped on a loaded gun in the back seat of his pickup truck. Johnson County Sheriff Steve Kozisek said Richard Fipps, 46, of Sheridan, was standing next to his pickup truck Monday when his dog climbed from the front seat to the back seat and stepped on the loaded .300 Winchester Magnum, which did not have its safety activated. The gun fired off a round that struck Fipps in the left arm, Kozisek said. Kozisek said evidence from the scene and statements from two employees who were working with Fipps at the time of the incident support Fipps' version of events. Authorities said Fipps' injury is not considered life-threatening, but there is a chance he could lose his arm.

*-- Texas boy suspended for 'Hobbit' ring threat --*
KERMIT, Texas (UPI) - A Texan boy's fascination with The Hobbit has gotten him in trouble with school officials. Jason Steward, of Kermit, Texas, said it's "unbelievable" that his 9-year-old son was suspended from school for threatening to make another student disappear. Steward's son, Aiden, recently brought a ring to Kermit Elementary School after seeing The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies, in which Bilbo Baggins carries a magic invisibility ring. Jason told the Odessa American that the school suspended Aiden when he said he could make a classmate invisible with the ring. "I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend's existence," Jason told the school in an email. "If he did, I'm sure he'd bring him right back." Kermit Elementary School Principal Roxanne Greer said she could not discuss the incident because student affairs are "confidential."


*-- Police: Drug dealer dialed wrong number, got detective --*
ALBUQUERQUE (UPI) - Police in New Mexico said they arrested a woman who dialed the wrong number and offered to sell drugs to the wrong person -- a police detective. Albuquerque police said Renea Lucero, 30, apparently dialed the wrong number Wednesday afternoon when she called a police detective and asked if he was interested in buying any cocaine or heroin. The detective, who was familiar with Lucero from a previous case, arranged to meet Lucero at a location in the city to purchase drugs. Police said the detective called for backup, and officers met with Lucero, who was observed removing heroin from her bra and handing it off to Luciano Navarro, her driver. Navarro sold the heroin to the undercover detective for $30, police said. Lucero, Navarro and another woman who was in the car were arrested, police said. Lucero allegedly admitted to officers that she had accidentally called the detective, thinking it was the phone number of her boyfriend's friend. She said she was trying to raise gas money for a trip to Los Lunas. Jail records show Lucero was released from custody Thursday.

*-- Drunk couple fell asleep in dumpster, rode in garbage truck --*
TAMPA, Fla. (UPI) - Authorities in Florida said a couple who took a nap in a dumpster after a drunken night at a casino nearly met their end in the back of a garbage truck. Hillsborough County garbage truck driver Radames Valazquez called 911 early Wednesday morning to report a man and a woman were trapped in the back of his truck. Valazquez said he was about to compact his truck's load when he heard the couple shouting for help. "I got two people, I don't know how they got in the back of the truck, but they stuck in the truck. I almost killed both of them," he told the 911 dispatcher. Hillsborough County sheriff's deputies said they determined Donald Jordan, 37, and Lisa Sirabella, 49, had fallen asleep in a WaWa gas station dumpster after a drunken night at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino. Jordan, who authorities said appeared highly intoxicated, told deputies he and Sirabella were visiting Tampa from Kissimmee and sought warmth in the dumpster after being left stranded by some friends. Jordan and Sirabella, who both complained of back pain after their ride in the garbage truck, were taken to Tampa General Hospital.


*-- College dean gets box of fake IDs meant for student named Dean --*
RADNOR, Pa. (UPI) - Four Radnor Township college students who ordered fake IDs from China made a cringe-worthy blunder. Police said an 18-year-old college student named Dean ordered a box of fake IDs and had them shipped to his campus address. What the student probably didn't think about was he shared the same name with a dean at his school. The package was delivered to the administrator, who open the box and found eight realistic-looking IDs, one complete with the student's real name. "You can't make this up," Radnor Police Superintendent William Colarulo told the Philadelphia Inquirer. Police linked the fake IDs to four 18-year-old men, but would not identify the men or the college. Local schools include Villanova University, Cabrini College, Eastern University and Valley Forge Military Academy and College. Police tracked the package to Guangzhou, China, and said it is part of a larger problem with fraudulent identification. The cards are easy to get and can be used for far more than sneaking into bars. There are many people who use these to commit forgery or credit card fraud," police Lt. Chris Flanagan said. The students are not facing criminal charges but have been referred to their parents and may face school sanctions.


*-- Urinators in Germany warned: St. Pauli walls 'pee back' --*
HAMBURG, Germany (UPI) - Leaders in the "party district" of St. Pauli in Hamburg, Germany, are discouraging public urination by covering walls in paint that "pees back." The St. Pauli Interest Community released a YouTube video explaining the most frequently-soiled walls in the district are being covered in a super-hydrophobic paint that causes sprayed liquid to bounce back in the opposite direction -- causing public urinators to make a mess of their own pants and shoes. The walls treated with the paint are labeled with signs reading, "Don't pee here! We'll pee back!" "It was a real annoyance that was growing and growing," St Pauli Interest Community board member Uwe Christiansen, who owns several local bars, told The Local. "We wanted to bring people to reason." He said the move is being hailed by locals who were similarly tired of dealing with "Wildpinkler." "I've seen in Facebook and the local newspapers that the reactions were very positive. People were just tired of the peeing on walls, home entrances and playgrounds," Christiansen said. "Watch out! From now on, it's Peeback time," group member Julia Staron said in the video.


*-- Bride backs out of marriage to math-challenged groom --*
RASOOLABAD, India (UPI) - A mathematically-challenged groom in India was dumped by his bride-to-be when he failed to correctly answer a basic addition problem just prior to the ceremony. Police in Uttar Pradesh said they were called to mediate between the bride and groom's families Wednesday in Rasoolabad after Lovely Singh backed out of plans to wed Ram Baran when she discovered her intended husband could not add 15 and six. Baran gave the answer as 17 instead of the correct 21. Mohar Singh, the father of the bride, said Baran's family failed to disclose his lack of education before the marriage plans were arranged. "Any [first grade] student must be able to solve the simple problem asked by us. The family of the groom had kept us in dark about the youth's qualification," Singh said. "It was a very embarrassing situation for all of us as we had come with all preparations and it was a matter of social prestige as well. We have been cheated," he told The Times of India. Police mediated between the families and both sides agreed to return all gifts they received in advance of the wedding.


* Fire extinguisher factory burns down in Chicago *
CHICAGO (UPI) - More than 150 Chicago firefighters were called to fight flames at a building housing one of the department's closest allies -- a fire extinguisher factory. Chicago Fire Department officials said the building in the Archer Heights neighborhood on the southwest side of the city ignited Thursday night and the fire worsened to three alarms about 9:30 p.m., leading to a total 156 firefighters responding with 26 pieces of equipment. A portion of the building, which firefighters said housed a fire extinguisher manufacturing business, collapsed as a result of the intense fire, the department said. First Deputy Fire Commissioner Charles Stewart III said the nature of the blaze made it difficult to reach the flames with water. "We had one engine feed another engine to another engine until we got water on the fire," he told WMAQ-TV. Firefighters said no injuries were reported and the cause of the fire remained under investigation Friday.

*-- Chinese man's 17 girlfriends discover each other during hospital visit --*
CHANGSHA, China (UPI) - A philandering Chinese man who secretly had 17 girlfriends was exposed when all of his paramours arrived at the same time to visit him in the hospital. The Changsha man, identified by the surname Yuan, was hospitalized March 24 with non-life-threatening injuries from a car accident and doctors got into contact with a number of people they believed to be family members. However, the 17 people who turned up at the hospital were revealed to be Yuan's girlfriends, who were unaware of each others' existence until they all arrived at the hospital at the same time. A girlfriend who identified herself as Xiao Li said she has spoken with several of the other women and discovered many of them had been regularly giving him money. She said one of the women had been supporting him financially for nine years. Yuan, who also allegedly fabricated his education background to get a job with a large company, is facing a fraud charge after he allegedly bilked his ex-wife of more than $40,000.



Mario Stevan Ambarita, 21, was spotted staggering around the tarmac at Jakarta airport, shortly after the Garuda Indonesia domestic flight landed from Sumatra Island to the north.

"The case was quite a surprise to us," Garuda CEO Arif Wibowo told reporters.

The stowaway scaled a 8-foot fence to reach the aircraft, where he tucked himself into the rear wheel housing.

He collapsed after the flight and was taken to hospital with a bleeding ear and other light injuries before spending the night in a police cell.

"He said he wanted to meet Jokowi," a spokesman for Soekarno-Hatta Airport Police said, referring to Indonesian President Joko Widodo by his nickname.

According to local media reports, Ambarita had spent up to a year studying aircraft taking off and landing, had learned from the Internet how to hide in the wheel well and had made an unsuccessful attempt in the past to hitch a free plane ride.


*-- Australian police: Drunken man ate glass beer bottle --*
WAGAMAN, Australia (UPI) - Australian authorities said a man was hospitalized after he drunkenly ate a glass beer bottle during a family gathering. Northern Territory Police Superintendent Louise Jorgensen said police received an emergency call just after 9 p.m. Wednesday about a man at a family gathering in Wagaman who chewed and swallowed a glass beer bottle "and then went for a lie down." "His family then called police and St. John [Ambulance], and he was taken to Royal Darwin Hospital," Jorgensen said. Jorgensen said the call was one of 500 made to police between 3 p.m. and 11 p.m. Wednesday. She said drunken hijinks such as the bottle-eating man are a drain on police resources. "People are dismayed when we can't respond to their jobs immediately, but this is why -- because of all these other jobs that are coming in," she said. "We got 500 calls [Wednesday] evening, and about 450 on Tuesday," Jorgensen said. "Most of them are domestics, or anti-social and drunk behavior."

*-- Police at Texas fest played rock-paper-scissors with underage drinker --*
SNOOK, Texas (UPI) - A game of rock-paper-scissors at a Texas Chilifest landed three officers in hot water when they allowed an underage drinker to play the ability to avoid a citation. Constable Dennis Gaas of Burleson County Precinct 2 said the three officers, who work for two different departments, were working security at Chilifest in Snook when they were caught on video allowing a teen girl to play a round of rock-paper-scissors with one of the officers in a bid to avoid a citation. Video of the game, originally posted to humor website Total Frat Move, shows the girl win the game and celebrate her victory. Gaas said the officers were informed they would not be asked to work security at future events and they were reported to their respective supervisors. He did not identify the officers or the agencies where they work. The constable said "officers are given the choice of giving a warning or issuing a citation for any violation they encounter during this event," but he said "playing a game to see if a citation or warning is given does not fall under professional conduct." "I hope that the public will realize that this was a few officers and not all the officers at Chilifest," Gaas said. "Those who came and performed the job that was requested and required to make this event safe and enjoyable, should be commended for a job well done."


*-- San Diego surgeons treat man's 'Candy Crush thumb' --*
SAN DIEGO (UPI) - A team of San Diego doctors said a 29-year-old man was treated for "Candy Crush thumb" after he tore a tendon from playing the smartphone color-matching game. The doctors, writing in medical journal JAMA Internal Medicine, said the man was found to have ruptured a tendon in his thumb and he told doctors the injury had come after he played Candy Crush Saga on his phone "all day for 6 to 8 weeks." The tendon was fixed in surgery, the study said. The study authors said the man did not report any pain in his thumb until the tendon actually ruptured, indicating an addiction to the game may have caused the patient to feel less pain. "The potential for video games to reduce pain perception raises clinical and social considerations about excessive use, abuse, and addiction," they wrote. "Future research should consider whether pain reduction is a reason some individuals play video games excessively, manifest addiction, or sustain injuries associated with video gaming." "Candy Crush thumb" is the latest condition to result from smartphone technology that previously gave rise to the term "text neck."