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Hidden "R" Rated Pages



"Here's to the girl I love the best.
I've loved her naked, and I've loved her dressed.
I've loved her standing and I've loved her lying.
And if she had wings, I'd love her flying.
And when she's dead and long forgotten,
I'll dig her up and love her rotten."

"Here's to the cars we love and the women we wreck"."
"Here's to the girl who gave me this,
It hurts each time I take a piss.
But if she's around when I get well,
I'll get it again, sure as hell."

"Here's to the breezes,
that blow through the treeses,
and blow the skirts off young girls kneeses.
Which often leads to sights that pleases,
but more often leads to social diseases.
We the boys from illinois
We live in caves and ditches
We bang our cocks on jagged rocks
We're mean sons of bitches
We The boys from illinois
We live in caves and ditches
We wipe our ass with broken glass
And laugh because it itches"

"Roses are red, violets are blue,
please take this shot, so i can screw you."


10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.
I put a large load in the dishwasher last night...
 As usual, she spit it out.
My girlfriend threw me out because she caught me measuring the size of my c*ck !!
How petty is that?
...Anyway it turns out it just barely reaches the back of her sisters throat.

I wanted to buy 'Grand Theft Auto' from Game but I couldn't remember the name.  I told the shop assistant, "I want that game where you're a black fella and you drive 'round smashing into stuff, try to avoid getting beat up and shag loads of prostitutes".  I came out with 'Tiger Woods PGA Golf'.


Old macdonald had tourretes,


"I was halfway through a prostate exam last week when I thought..
I'm not even a real doctor...
and this girl hasn't even got a prostate."

- Anonymous
"Hey baby wanna come over to MYSPACE and TWITTER my YAHOO 'til I GOOGLE all over your FACEBOOK?"
- Anonymous
"No one frolics...
Like we alcoholics."

- Anonymous
"The most romantic thing any woman ever said to me in bed was,
'Are you sure you're not a cop?'"

- Larry Brown
"Drinkers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your money, your woman, your liver, your kids, your sanity, your job...."
- Anonymous

"I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag."

- Anonymous 

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